Generated by All in One SEO v5.0.0.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Pam Ferderbar Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale ## Posts - [Week 10: The Five Stages of Togetherness](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-10-the-five-stages-of-togetherness/) - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross authored the internationally best-selling book, On Death and Dying (1969), where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the "Kübler-Ross model.” The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I have completed my own studies in what happens to people after months of enforced - [It's 3AM and I'm Wide Awake](https://www.pamferderbar.com/its-3am-and-im-wide-awake/) - You’re getting sleepy. Your eyes are getting heavy. NOT! Even as a teenager I wasn’t a big sleeper. My friends would still be crashed at noon and I’d be hopping around my room like a nervous cat, waiting for someone, anyone, to answer their damn phone so we could go out and do something fun. - [Week Seven: All Aboard the Crazy Train](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-seven-all-aboard-the-crazy-train/) - And here I thought I was going nuts. Morons (yes, there was more than one) in Oklahoma City shot two McDonald’s workers who told them to leave the restaurant because it was closed—like every restaurant on the planet—due to the coronavirus. I could see maybe pitching a fit if I were asked to leave a - [Week 6.2 Surrender](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-6-2-i-surrender/) - Murder hornets. (I will be back as usual on Friday assuming I am not dead, in which case I may need a couple extra days.) - [Week Six: DIY Quarantine Fun](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-six-diy-quarantine-fun/) - If you are like the 3.5 billion humans who have internet access you’ve probably discovered there are tutorials for absolutely everything on YouTube, which is not to say you will necessarily master all that you attempt. For me, making a French omelet was a more successful enterprise than say, cutting my own bangs or a - [Week Five: The Thrill Is Gone](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-five-the-thrill-is-gone/) - Common Words, Terms and Phrases Heretofore Little Used by Most People Mitigation Misophonia Hydroxychloroquine PPE Vodka and prune juice Netflix and chill get that thing away from me What day is it The Mayor of Las Vegas I wish I were a squirrel It’s not even 9AM and I have eaten a bowl of linguine - [Week Four: The Siege](https://www.pamferderbar.com/week-four-the-siege/) - Alfie, a three-legged rat terrier mutt with six teeth and his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, has taken to lunging at my husband and attempting to bite his (well, gum really) face off when he tries to kiss me. It is super cute. Also tres adorbs, I have never seen my husband - [Self-Quarantine: Week Three Bazillion](https://www.pamferderbar.com/self-quarantine-week-three-bazillion/) - I don’t know how you all are doing with this self-quarantine thing, but for me WEEK THREE has lacked the gaiety and novelty of the early self-quarantine experience. I tire of cooking constantly (I have yet to grow weary of eating, however). I’m thinking day drinking probably isn’t good for a person in the long - [Self Quarantine: Week Two](https://www.pamferderbar.com/self-quarantine-week-two/) - I’ve been staring at the same blank page for two weeks now, resisting the urge to tell people to eff off whenever they chirp, “You must be getting so much writing done.” What I am getting so much “done” is cocktails, cooking and eating. I have also discovered the joys of baking. (FYI there is - [How to Survive Current Events](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-survive-current-events/) - Night terrors have morphed into day terrors, which have metastasized into all-the-fucking-time-now terrors brought on by the solid possibility that I will be blown up, shot, poisoned and/or beaten to death and raped by an incel wearing a red baseball cap. I am not alone in my anxiety. Millions of people, not only in the - [Lucky in Love](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2650-2/) - I am married. Three weeks wedded. Consciously coupled. Legally linked. My mate is a deep thinker who has deeply thought about what this means in the here and now, how it differs from the combined four marriages of our past and how we might navigate the intermittently placid and occasionally churning headwaters of our union. Me? - [What's love got to do with it?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/) - An article appeared in my inbox yesterday asking what I had in common with the macaroni penguin, sandhill crane, gray wolf, barn owl, shingleback skink, bald eagle, gibbon and black vulture. I like to think I share a certainly badassery with the gray wolf, bald eagle and black vulture although I fear the creature with - [5 Steps to Tidying Up (The Pam-Bam® Plan)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2592-2/) - I am a neat freak. Although I need glasses to see the TV or the car in front of me, I can spot a dust bunny 300 yards away in the middle of the night--in the dark--without my glasses. (Same can be said for spiders of any shape or size if they are in the same county as - [Is This the New Face of the Resistance?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-new-face-of-the-resistance/) - In a strange twist of fate it appears that the only human capable of putting the narcissist-in-chief in his place is a Slovenian mail order bride who exchanged a small grim life of Eastern European “lingerie modeling” for a more lucrative position (although she had no reason to think it would ever in a million - [America Is Still Land of Opportunity](https://www.pamferderbar.com/america-is-still-land-of-opportunity/) - I am a billionaire. Actually, my family has a net worth of $23 billion. We are by no means the “richest people in America.” But we’re comfortable. There are 540 billionaires in the United States—more than anywhere in the world. USA! USA! USA! We control more than 40% of all the wealth in the country - [In the Fading Light of the Coffee Klatch](https://www.pamferderbar.com/in-the-fading-light-of-the-coffee-klatch/) - coffee klatch. (kŏf′ē-klăch’) A casual social gathering for coffee and conversation. A long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth (just ever-so-slightly pre-dating Real Housewives and miniature superhero lip balms), human adults gathered at a place called a coffee shop and they talked…to each other…using words they generated with the use of tongues, uvulae and lips; nary - [What's Right with Facebook](https://www.pamferderbar.com/whats-right-with-facebook/) - So…I haven’t written a blog in a long time. All the things I feel passionately about have the effect of agitating readers; both those who agree with me and those who do not. Then today I was deeply moved by a post on Facebook and I realized that common ground is closer than we think. - [As the New Year Is Upon Us...](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2512-2/) - I've learned a few things the past few years that I think might be of some value to my friends. When I was younger I worried about completely different things than I do now, like whether I am getting enough fiber and if doing crossword puzzles can actually stave off senility. The list below is short--the first - [I'm Getting Off.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/im-getting-off/) - Buh-bye, Facebook. Don’t let the door hit ya, Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg. Dosvedanya Vladimir, infowars, bots, trolls and all the bad actors who have contributed to my mental illness. (Please forgive errors of omission. The list of people and organizations associated with FB in a nefarious context is much too long to reprint here.) - [What Lawyers, Police and the Courts Don't Want You to Know About Drinking & Driving](https://www.pamferderbar.com/what-lawyers-police-and-the-courts-dont-want-you-to-know-about-drinking-driving/) - The holidays are upon us. Whether you're celebrating in style or sipping a little spiked nog in front of the fireplace, there are a few things you should know before you choose to get behind the wheel. It was nearly two years ago, when I had just moved back to Wisconsin from Los Angeles, that I - [Like Putting Socks on an Octopus](https://www.pamferderbar.com/like-putting-socks-on-an-octopus/) - I’ve been a little lax in writing the weekly blog. I have been working on a photography project for an exhibition that opens July 20 and I just learned that my project has already been done by another photographer. I am also making a film, by which I mean I have descended into a surreal - [Sexual misconduct: art v the artist](https://www.pamferderbar.com/sexual-misconduct-art-v-the-artist/) - A former employer who had no case other than he was butt hurt because I had quit my job and he had money to burn recently sued me. Used to be bullies were the kids with nothing to lose and everything to prove. Today, as an adult, all you need to be a big - [Shame on...everyone?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/shame-on-everyone/) - Shaming has become the great American pastime: slut shaming, body shaming, shaming over what we eat, how we feel, who we sleep with and what we drive. I’ve seen cell phone shaming, headphone shaming, shoe shaming and even landscape shaming, as in, “The rest of the lawns in our neighborhood are manicured to a perfect - [In the true spirit of giving...](https://www.pamferderbar.com/are-you-generous/) - The other day a man on the street gave a homeless person a dollar, and I smiled at him. “What can I say?” the man told me, puffing up his chest as he got into a new Mercedes. “I’m a generous guy this time of year.” It got me to thinking…people seem confused about generosity. - [Get Over it? I Don't Think So.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2343-2/) - Some men I know are whining about the legion number of sexual misconduct accusations and resulting firings and humiliations that have been coming to light every five minutes for the past few weeks. I do not share their bewilderment, frustration and suspicions that women are jumping on some over-sensitive bandwagon. One man thinks it is only - [Joining Forces in Tragedy's Aftermath](https://www.pamferderbar.com/joining-forces-in-tragedys-aftermath/) - Years ago, before Sandy Hook, Columbine, Orlando, Virginia and all the others, I would have been devastated by the events of this past week, but truth be told I am becoming inured to acts of extreme violence, and loss. Each time CNN ratings spike, which is either the result of an internationally embarrassing tweet or - [Getting Lucky](https://www.pamferderbar.com/getting-lucky/) - The other day I got into a debate with someone who believes that rich people are smarter than poor people, which is a myth rich people would like to propagate much as I would like to spread the news that writers are all frickin' geniuses. Despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary, the argument - [Loving Me. Loving You.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/loving-me-loving-you/) - It’s probably safe to say that most of us aspire to be loving creatures. We spend a lot of time figuring out how to love others, but everything we understand and know about love pretty much begins with how well we love…us. Wow. That’s a tough one for a lot of people, but what - [A Place of Love](https://www.pamferderbar.com/a-place-of-love/) - The most epic love story I know—first hand, eye witness, felt it—was that of Simone and Martin. They met, they mated for life. Tragically, only 18 years later, Martin passed away, but not before forever changing the landscape of love…for me. Unless they devolve into tragedies, love stories in retrospect have the tendency to feel - [Our Inglorious Past (and often present)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/ou-inglorious-past-and-often-present/) - We have been recently admonished by our president that memorials to figures of the Confederacy are merely part of our “cultural history,” and why on earth would anyone wish to erase that? Oh, I don’t know. You won’t find a single statue of Hitler or Mengele anywhere in Germany and there’s a place whose cultural history - [Love in the Time of Facebook](https://www.pamferderbar.com/love-and-the-facebook-family/) - I write this on my birthday—a day that usually passes with special wishes and bedazzled cards from close friends and family, but that goes otherwise quietly into the good night. I am not complaining. Like most recognized days (yes, I consider my birthday a national holiday if only in my own mind) I think the - [And then they go.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/and-then-they-go/) - I don’t have children. There are two beautiful souls in California that I like to think I helped to form when I had the privilege of step-mothering them for 12 years, but as for biologic offspring I chose a different path. I am an only child. Growing up I was very close to my mom’s - [Don't Go Changing](https://www.pamferderbar.com/dont-go-changing/) - Every day I receive several emails trying to sell me books, webinars, seminars and workshops promising to teach me how I can change my life, my appearance, the way I eat, sleep and love, which begs the question of why I am being targeted by these ads. I feel like hitting reply and asking, ‘What - [6 Toxic People To Run Away From Now](https://www.pamferderbar.com/6-toxic-people-to-run-away-from-now/) - An article entitled Ten Toxic People to Avoid Like the Plague appeared in my inbox this morning. I clicked it fast as I could, fully expecting a list of people’s names, which could have been handy. Instead I got a list of toxic types: the gossip, the temperamental, the victim, the self-absorbed, the envious, the - [6 Steps to Being Kind](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-steps-to-being-kind/) - 1. Develop the empathy muscle. This is first because it’s the easiest. You think the woman going nuts on the barista at Colectivo is out of line? Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine what it’s like being an asshole. I’ve been an asshole and a nice person and I can tell you it’s - [Optimistic about Optimism](https://www.pamferderbar.com/what-is-optimism/) - Researchers at UCLA believe they are close to identifying a gene that determines a person’s psychological "resources"—optimism, self-esteem and mastery (the feeling that you can master your environment and achieve what you want). These 3 resources have been shown to help people weather stressful events and beat back depression. Because these traits tend to run in - [You Deserve a Good Laugh! (for free)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/you-deserve-a-good-laugh-for-free/) - Charlotte is two years old! It seems like just yesterday that Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale was born, shiny and new, and the long uphill journey to promoting the novel had just begun. If I knew then what I know now… You can spend 16 hours per day writing, or write for an hour - [Truth Shmuth.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/truth-shmuth/) - “All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.” Bob Dylan, from Things have Changed. In the second grade when we finished a test we were made to stand beside our desks while the teacher walked up and down the aisles checking our work. One day, upon completing a spelling test, - [How to Attract Love and Friendship](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-attract-love-and-friendship/) - Chad and Nolene, January 2017 I just returned from my godson’s wedding in Jamaica and I promise you there was more heart, soul and far more beautiful people at those nuptials than anywhere in Great Britain during Pippa Middleton’s “event of the year.” The Brits may have feted foreign dignitaries and bluebloods, but the real - [Ferderbar Writes for M Magazine](https://www.pamferderbar.com/ferderbar-writes-for-m-magazine/) - Pam was thrilled to write an article about her friend and fellow Coalition of Photographic Arts (CoPA) board member Tom Jordan for M Magazine's May 2017 issue. Read the full article here! Tom's wonderful photography of Door County invokes all kinds of emotions-images are at turns majestic, haunting, humorous and an inspiration to other photographers. Tom - [5 Scams to Beware of Now](https://www.pamferderbar.com/craiglist-scammers-and-other-beasts-of-prey/) - If you’ve ever sold anything on Craigslist you’ve faced “the beast.” It had been a while since I listed my childhood bedroom set on Craigslist (which included a faux French provincial canopy bed retrofitted with 2”x4”s fit for a pudgy princess) so I had kind of forgotten how quickly scammers slither out from under their - [Death and taxes. Death, please!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/death-and-taxes-death-please-2/) - (Following is my sweaty Tax Day post from last year. This year I did not perspire because I automatically sent everything to a CPA. In spite the great confidence I have in "Keith," I will not fully rest until three years from now, when the IRS statute of limitations says they can't come after me for erroneously - [Death and taxes. Death, please.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/death-and-taxes-death-please/) - This year April 15th shall go down in history, for me, as the end of the world as I know it. In the past, I used an accountant to do my taxes. Self-employed as a TV commercials director, writer, producer, photographer, and media consultant, there were just too many variables for me to take on - [Just be Yourself. (Ish.)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/just-be-yourself-dont-do-it/) - I overhear it at Starbucks, walking into a movie theater, shopping and at the oil change place. A young person, usually a young woman, is about to go on a job or college interview, is preparing to ask for a promotion or has been invited to speak publicly. In all these scenarios she is nervous. Someone—could be - [5 Steps to Personal Wealth](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-steps-to-personal-wealth/) - The word wealth smacks me in the face like a dead trout every time I pick up a paper or watch the news. CEOs receive multi-multi-multi-million dollar golden parachute pay outs when they are fired or forced to resign in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations, insider trading allegations, mismanagement allegations and just plain crooked-as-hellessness. It’s - [Bob Dylan, Sister Edith, a Bunsen Burner and Me](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2101-2/) - In high school I fancied myself a deep, soulful sort of loner with one or two close friends other than Bob Dylan, Rimbaud, Ezra Pound, Lou Reed and all of Monty Python. I didn’t participate in school sanctioned extracurricular activities. I went to zero proms (holding out for Dylan to say yes when I wrote - [Searching for a Sign](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2089-2/) - My friend Moira told me that the other day, while she was stuck in traffic on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles, she glanced over to the side of the road as a bush suddenly burst into flames. “God?” she wondered aloud. “Is this a sign?” When I mentioned this to my friend Tom Jordan, - [Why Can't We Just Get Along?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/why-cant-we-just-get-along/) - The Flip or Flop television personalities have folded up their quartz countertop marriage. Kyrie Irving believes the world is flat even though he makes a living with an earth-shaped sphere. Kim Jong-omfg is over there making a clatter with his missiles and the good people of Flint are being poisoned by their own drinking water. - [Happiness.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/2054-2/) - My cousin Colleen is a clipster. She cuts, copies, collates and sends me really great articles lovingly placed in envelopes sealed with dog faces, flowers and recently, stickers from the Charles Darwin collection. Her dad, my Uncle Bob, was a consummate article sender who found great joy in embellishing his envelopes with big bold writing, - [4 Life Lessons from My Mom](https://www.pamferderbar.com/4-life-lessons-from-my-mom/) - Art's Motel, Farmersville, IL, 2000 by Tom Ferderbar I’ve been trying to write this since my mom died in October. Some time has passed, which has provided perspective. I’m able to laugh at much of my mom’s advice—because if she were here we’d be laughing together. 1. B.Y.O.B. My folks favored driving trips because, - [How to Win a Debate on Facebook (or anywhere)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-win-a-debate-on-facebook-or-anywhere/) - The national debate is on! Not that we haven’t been embroiled in a ginormous rhubarb for the last year or so, but now women have upped their game and for some reason that has gotten under the skin of the new president in a yuge way. Three to five million women, children and men gathered - [How to Survive the Next 4 Years (regardless of party)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-survive-the-next-4-years/) - Let’s face it, no matter which side you line up on the next four years are going to be brutal. Every action, tweet, deal and decision will be met with unprecedented scrutiny and subsequent calls for impeachment, censure, tar and feathering. Other folks will show their unwavering support regardless of the charge, action, tweet, deal, decision - [8 Ways to Tell If You've Lost Your Mind](https://www.pamferderbar.com/8-ways-to-tell-youve-lost-your-mind/) - I’m no medical professional, but I know crazy when I see it, particularly as it pertains to me. Following is a handy list of the reasons I know bats are flying the freak flag in my belfry. If you exhibit three or more of the following symptoms, then you are likely nuts as well, and - [4 Best New Year's Resolutions](https://www.pamferderbar.com/4-best-new-years-resolutions/) - 1. Be like Dame Helen Mirren When the 70 year old was asked one piece of advice she’d give her younger self, the glorious Dame Helen answered, “It would be to use the words ‘fuck off’ much more.” She went on to explain there is no value to being polite at all times, especially as - [The Law of Unintended Consequences](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-law-of-unintended-consequences/) - In the social sciences, and even real life, unintended consequences are outcomes that are not the ones foreseen and intended by a purposeful action. There are three outcomes associated with this intractable law: 1. Unexpected benefit: A positive unexpected benefit (also referred to as luck, kismet and "it's a damn miracle!") Example: You meet a roguish sort - [The Top 5 Things Living People Want to Tell YOU](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-top-5-things-living-people-want-to-tell-you/) - I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately, and what lessons might be learned from the passing of a loved one. I try to remember all the advice my mom gave me over the years—some spoken and a lot that I picked up by observing her. She left enough good lessons to fill a book, - [Just the Facts](https://www.pamferderbar.com/just-the-facts/) - Many of us have lost Facebook friends, real life friends, relatives and the respect of total strangers over our and/or their political beliefs. Either they’re liberals who've put something that is supposed to be good for us in our drinking water, or they're conservatives who have put very bad things in the water because something has - [5 Reasons to Procrastinate Now](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-reasons-to-procrastinate-now/) - Procrastinate, verb. delay or postpone action; put off doing something We unjustly malign procrastinators. Isn’t it better to say, “I am going to wait until I can give 100% to this task” rather than being shamed because the laundry pile has moved across the room of its own accord, and the checkbook hasn’t been balanced - [Laugh it Out](https://www.pamferderbar.com/laugh-it-out/) - My mom died last week. It was saddest day of my life. My mom was my rock, my best friend, a mirror into which I gazed upon my past, the person I am today, and with any luck, who I just might become. At 4AM on October 18 my mom took her last breath in - [One Day At a Time](https://www.pamferderbar.com/one-day-at-a-time/) - My family has been going through a medical crisis of late and it has become impossible to find a good stretch of uninterrupted time in which to write, not to mention things don’t seem particularly funny right now. Oh, there are moments, such as when the nurse at the hospital suggested my mom watch the - [5 Ways Self-Esteem Kills Your Soul](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-ways-self-esteem-kills-your-soul/) - I’d like to know who added me to the email list for the defeated. Last week I was given reasons I must try online dating now and this week I was asked, “How low is your self esteem?” It isn’t whether I suffer from a lack of self-esteem, oh no. This survey assumes my self-esteem festers - [8 Reasons to Avoid Online Dating](https://www.pamferderbar.com/8-reasons-to-avoid-online-dating-if-youre-like-me/) - An article entitled 8 Reasons to Try Online Dating Now appeared in my inbox today. If you’ve known me for ten minutes, or at any time during the 20 years I lived in Los Angeles, you squeal with sick delight at the thought of Pam Ferderbar + online dating. I know dozens of you have - [It'll All Work Out](https://www.pamferderbar.com/itll-all-work-out/) - Marta and Helen. My Aunt Marta, my mom’s beloved sister and the mother of my four incredible cousins, passed away yesterday. She was 87 and had suffered with late stage Alzheimer’s for a couple of years. Even so, she was always sweet, smiling, loving and gentle. My cousin Kyle looked after Marta for many - [Greed. And drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/greed-and-drugs-sex-and-rock-n-roll/) - Seriously. I am getting so old (or the news is getting so bad) that the mere act of reading the newspaper causes me to hear my blood pressure. Literally. The other day I was reading about EpiPen and it sounded like the Quicksilver Big Wave Invitational in my head. Proxy filings, which are the papers - [Relevant AND Authentic](https://www.pamferderbar.com/1848-2/) - I recently wrote about the misappropriation of the term “passionate about” and how it makes my head spin. Today I’m losing my marbles over the use of “authentic.” Not as in “authentic Latvian folk music” or “authentic Louis Vuitton at discount prices.” No, this authentic refers to a human being’s persona, as in “the candidate - [7 Indicators of Success](https://www.pamferderbar.com/7-reasonable-indicators-of-success/) - If the recent election cycle has taught me anything it is that people have wildly divergent ideas about what constitutes success. For many, it is purely a dollar amount, punctuated by gold gilt wives, plastic children and fussy furniture. Others define triumph as simply being a decent human who cares deeply about the welfare and - [Why So Angry?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/why-so-angry/) - The other day, within a span of five minutes, I witnessed two complete strangers act in a manner that suggested they were very angry. I was in the passenger seat of my dad’s car when he nosed out onto a rural highway in order to make a left turn. It was a tricky turn because - [Encourage the Princess in Your Child](https://www.pamferderbar.com/encourage-the-princess-in-your-child/) - When I was six years old I was crazy about the Beatles. So much so, that my grandpa gave me a diamond ring and told me it was from Paul McCartney. I’m sure the ring came from Murphy’s Five and Dime (or a Cracker Jack box), but with all my little six-year-old heart, I believed - [Fly the Friendly Skies Part II](https://www.pamferderbar.com/1792-2/) - Lacking instrumentation other than a cell phone and a flashlight, and having nearly crashed into a lake, our aerial cinematography helicopter had landed in a farmer’s field at the end of last week’s blog. Farmer Fritz got the volunteer fire department to guide us to the airport, where we parked the chopper for the night, - [Everyone deserves a second chance. Not.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/everyone-deserves-a-second-chance-not/) - Seconds in lore are splendid. We’ve heard that love is better the second time around, factory seconds are almost as good as factory firsts and everyone deserves a second chance, but a lot of heartache, anxiety and brushes with death have been the result of giving people a second thwack at the piñata. Many years - [7 Traits of Self-Actualized People](https://www.pamferderbar.com/7-steps-to-self-actualization/) - As our gardens come into bloom and butterflies beat colorful wings against turquoise skies, I am strangely obsessed with an acquaintance who claims to be “in transformation.” I doubt he will ever become a lizard, say. Or a tree. So what does he mean? Transformation, n. change in form, appearance, nature or character. We transform - [6 Business Tips for Millennials (and anyone who needs a refresher course in how the world really works)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-business-tips-for-millennials-anyone-who-needs-a-refresher-course-in-how-the-world-really-works/) - I get that if you haven’t been alive very long you may not yet possess the necessary business acumen to dominate in the business world. Trouble is, I meet a lot of people, young and those who should know better, who confuse bluster, bravado and bullshit with business acumen. Darlings, it is not the same. - [Lana Reid Interviews Pam Ferderbar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/lana-reid-interviews-pam-ferderbar/) - LANA REID’s new inspirational talk show DON'T BOX ME IN breaks from convention. Hosted by popular, award-winning author and public speaker Lana Reid, this uniquely inspirational/motivational show covers a variety of “outside the box” topics from Lana's own DISTINCTIVE perspective. This week Lana interviews pam Ferderbar, author of Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale, in a hilarious, uplifting - [5 Tips for Coping with Disappointment](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-tips-for-coping-with-disappointment/) - I’ve been doing a lot of interviews lately and a theme has emerged—how I deal with disappointment. (I’d like to thank everyone who helped make me an expert on this topic.) Yesterday Lana Reid of the Don’t Box Me In radio show asked, “How do you handle so much disappointment?” I thought to myself, - [The Douglas Coleman Show](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-douglas-coleman-show/) - Listen to Douglas's awesome interview with author/blogger Pam Ferderbar. They laughed. They cried. They laughed some more! Listen to author Pam Ferderbar on the Douglas Coleman Show. - [How to Accept a Compliment (when you’re from Wisconsin)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-accept-a-compliment-when-youre-from-wisconsin/) - After 20 years in Los Angeles this has taken some getting used to—the humility, the big toe in the dirt “aw shucks, who me-edness” of the Midwesterner’s response to a compliment. In L.A., for example, when someone says, “You look nice today,” the reply varies from “Juvederm” to “I just did a six-month kale/kefir cleanse. - [Bringing Inspiration to Earth Radio Show](https://www.pamferderbar.com/bringing-inspiration-to-earth-radio-show/) - Radio host Robert Sharpe talks with Pam Ferderbar about the meaning of happiness, optimism…and what's really funny. Click here to listen now! - [10 Things I Would Tell My Young Self](https://www.pamferderbar.com/10-things-i-would-tell-my-young-self/) - With my nephew Elliot and millions of other young people graduating university this weekend, my cousin Melanie asked me what advice I would give my younger self if I were graduating today. Looking back with 20/20 laser vision, here’s my advice: #1 Run don’t walk. If you are driving along a country road and see - [5 Reasons Why Women Should Nap](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-reasons-why-women-should-nap/) - Winston Churchill, Lyndon B. Johnson, Napoleon Bonaparte, John F. Kennedy, Thomas Edison, Stonewall Jackson, Ronald Reagan and Salvador Dali were napping enthusiasts, proving that the nap is a powerful tool for…powerful men. When I searched Google for ”influential women nappers” I got Lauryn Hill, Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim. Apparently hypnogogic siestas are responsible for - [Duck! And other advice from my mother](https://www.pamferderbar.com/duck-and-other-advice-from-my-mother/) - The quintessential symbol of motherhood is a mama duck being followed dutifully by her chicks, waddling across perilous terrain, facing imminent danger, until reaching the safety of a pond or lake. It is the stuff of lore. Brave calendar-worthy firemen with yellow hats and axes, slipping into sewer drains to rescue wee birdlets that have fallen - [The 5 Stages of Transition: L.A. to Wisconsin](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-5-stages-of-transition-from-l-a-to-wisconsin/) - My dear friend Lois Keller, of Studio City fame, hosted a book club gathering at her home yesterday featuring my novel Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale. Lois served Charlotte’s fave dish, Emperor’s cashew chicken, which I couldn’t fully enjoy as I sat in via Skype. (Anne E. Schwartz, author of the definitive book on - [The world is awash in purple.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-world-is-awash-in-purple/) - Photo courtesy NASA, ESA and Allison Loll/Jeff Hester (Arizona State University) “The world is awash in purple,” said my cousin Colleen Anderson. And so it is. From the Eiffel Tower to the Superdome to NASA, which released an image of a purple nebula in honor of our sweet Prince, the world is in mourning even - [Pam Ferderbar on Ron's Amazing Stories](https://www.pamferderbar.com/pam-ferderbar-on-rons-amazing-stories/) - This interview was so much fun. Ron is a lively, lovely and thoughtful interviewer, who coaxed a bit more out of me than I intended. There's a great section toward the end about my dad's work with Ansel Adams, and about the master himself. Enjoy! (There is a charming "old time radio" story at the - [Delafield Public Library Meet the Authors](https://www.pamferderbar.com/delafield-public-library-meet-the-authors/) - Delafield Public Library Thursday, April 21, 2016 Thank you Delafield Public Library, authors Ann Angel and Christine Ann Schimpf, and all the lovely people who came out last night to listen to us read, who asked compelling questions, and who supported us by buying our books! It was a lot of fun, a lot of - [7 Reasons My Dog Should Be A Presidential Candidate](https://www.pamferderbar.com/7-reasons-my-dog-should-be-a-presidential-candidate/) - 1. Zuzu is a straightforward communicator. At her most vociferous, such as when a deer, wild turkey, postal carrier, door-to-door religion salesperson, chipmunk, squirrel, robin, bunny, leaf or twig appears in her yard and she howls like a shewolf in heat, her oratory is still not as shrill and bombastic as the majority of other candidates when they - [Mean People Suck](https://www.pamferderbar.com/mean-people-suck/) - When I was kid growing up in West Allis, WI, a hard-working, blue-collar community just west of Milwaukee, there was a grouch who lived on our block, who’d keep your ball if it rolled onto his grass. Our neighborhood was populated by small clapboard duplexes, many of which had been single-family homes until the attics - [5 Steps to Being More Patient](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-steps-to-being-more-patient/) - “He that can have patience can have what he will.” ~ Benjamin Franklin “Patience is a conquering virtue.” ~ Geoffrey Chaucer “The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” ~ Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace “Blah blah blah, we’re not getting any younger here!” ~ Pam Ferderbar I try to be patient. I really do. - [Perception v Reality in Year of Purpose Podcast](https://www.pamferderbar.com/year-of-purpose-podcast-with-pam-ferderbar-goes-live/) - Zephan asked great questions, stimulating discussion about luck v fate, perception v reality, and how we define real happiness. An uplifting half hour! Click here to listen. - [Mining for Joy](https://www.pamferderbar.com/mining-for-joy/) - These days I feel like I’m being punished for all the times I slept late, took a mental health day, went to the movies, napped, played with dogs/boys/friends, golfed, hiked, swam or made it to the gym for half an hour. I bolt upright at 3AM, taunted by a to-do list that begins with, “Wake - [The Majesty (and restorative powers) of Bruce Springsteen](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-majesty-and-restorative-powers-of-bruce-springsteen/) - Otherwise entitled How Rock ‘n’ Roll Saved My Life, or At Least Made a Super Sucky Week Less Sucky. It was seven solid days of wall-to-wall #CharlotteMoments. Friends, whom I was counting on, let me down. Technology went kaflooey, giving every indication my machines had become inhabited by demonic pucks. With a major proposal hanging - [8 Things You Never Want to Hear...Behind You](https://www.pamferderbar.com/8-things-you-never-want-to-hear-behind-you/) - 1. I can’t remember when they said I was past the contagious stage. 2. That is not a flashlight. 3. You found it. You hold it. 4. It’s only toxic if it’s exposed to oxyge…who opened this? 5. Don’t worry. They don’t have a clear shot from there. 6. My bed is crawling with them. 7. As long as you keep the - [Authors Talk About It Podcast featuring Pam Ferderbar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/authors-talk-about-it-podcast-featuring-pam-ferderbar/) - Listen to Pam's interview with Drs. Rob + Janelle Alex, Ph.D. , Sexual Energy Experts & Author Mentors/Coaches Janelle and Rob were lovely - super high energy (must be all the sex!) and so easy to talk with - they made me feel very comfortable. I was at the top of my game for this one! It's - [5 Things in My Book of Things Too Good to Be True](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-things-in-my-book-of-things-too-good-to-be-true/) - 1. Having a Macy’s coupon applicable to something you actually want to buy. Perfume? Only an idiot would think you could use a coupon for that. Joe’s jeans? Idiot 2.0. Make-up, Michael Kors anything, the one bra that fits perfectly, or the gloves your mom wants for her birthday? No, nada, nyet and nein. Macy’s will - [Valentine's Day. Perception v reality.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/valentines-day-perception-great-expectations-reality-not-so-much/) - A guest blog. There are two holidays I used to have a love/hate relationship with: New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day. This was when I was younger, and there was an expectation that the events of both nights would go down in history, respectively, as THE MOST FUN EVER and THE MOST ROMANTIC EVER. Now I’m - [Winter preparedness goes awry](https://www.pamferderbar.com/winter-preparedness-goes-awry/) - Winter Preparedness Goes Awry for Girl Learning to Ski by Pam Ferderbar From the essay series Wisconsin Tough for Wisconsin Public Radio and Wisconsin Public Television One chubby kid, a roll of duct tape and a blind school. What could go wrong? CLICK HERE - [How the Rich Are Different from Other People](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-the-rich-are-different-from-other-people/) - Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of articles on this subject, and I am amazed that anyone at all feels the need to itemize, explain, elucidate and otherwise point out how rich people are different from people who are not rich. For one thing, and it seems rather obvious, rich people have more money. This is - [5 Mistakes Optimists Often Repeat (over and over)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-mistakes-optimists-often-repeat-over-and-over/) - A leading financial magazine recently published a list of the 10 mistakes smart people never make twice. Here’s a link to that list. Here’s a list of 5 mistakes that cockeyed optimists often make more than twice. 1. Believing people can change. (Better known as ‘The belief you can change a person.’) You can change a diaper, or - [3 Steps to Fixing an Epic Fail at Work](https://www.pamferderbar.com/3-steps-to-fixing-an-epic-fail-at-work/) - #1 Own It. Many years ago I worked for an advertising agency as a freelance producer of TV commercials. A young executive who was an employee of the company made a clerical error that would cost the agency tens of thousands of dollars. When I told her we had a rather large issue to rectify, - [Ladies' Night at Vina Mundi](https://www.pamferderbar.com/ladies-night-at-vina-mundi/) - Thank you Lorelei Mustas and all the great ladies and gents who gathered 'round for a great evening of story-telling, wine and laughter! January 14th, 2016 6:30 to 8:30 Great wine, great discussion, great people! Vina Mundi S42W31428 State Hwy. 83 Genesee Depot, Wisconsin 53127 262-201-4021 - [Pam Ferderbar Featured on Year of Purpose](https://www.pamferderbar.com/author-ferderbar-featured-on-podcast/) - Wednesday, January 27th 11:30A CST The highly-rated Year of Purpose Podcast, hosted by best-selling author of Life Re-Scripted, Zeph Blaxberg, will feature Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale author Pam Ferderbar to talk about perspective and the power of positive thinking, why other people's misfortune is so damn funny, and whether luck, voodoo and magic are real. - [5 Ways Acting Stupid May Be Smart](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-ways-acting-stupid-may-be-smart/) - The other day my pops read an article about why highly intelligent people sometimes opt to hide their intelligence, and he asked what I thought. I stared at him for a moment, poured myself a coffee, ate half a yogurt and forgot the question. I did a little research and here’s what I've learned: 1. - ["Riot of a Book"](https://www.pamferderbar.com/riot-of-a-book/) - Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale By Pam Ferderbar Feng Shui +Charlotte Nightingale by Pam Ferderbar is a comedy of errors. A riot a minute. Wacky from page to page. A clever twist around each corner with a cast of characters you'd just love to get to know better. Charlotte Nightingale in one word is chaos. She's like - [Why New Year’s Resolutions are Bad for You (And Why Springtime Goodness Motivation is Better)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/why-new-years-resolutions-are-bad-for-you-and-why-springtime-goodness-motivation-is-better/) - Truth be told, I just don’t like New Year’s resolutions. They’re a lot like New Year’s Eve expectations—rarely met, usually disappointing and sometimes resulting in divorce. (I've heard there is a tribe in the Amazon that celebrates December 31st with music, dancing and unjacked food prices. Everyone is happy, the giant ants are served hot - [Magic...When You Need It Most](https://www.pamferderbar.com/magic-when-you-need-it-most/) - Reminiscing the other day about holidays past, I became a bit wistful and blue, thinking that the stuff of sparkly memories was reserved for the very young—the uncrushed, unwrecked, and unsullied by mean people, disappointment, life. Then the most amazing things started to happen. I went shopping right before Christmas. (My cousin Melanie has all - [Best Gifts for Writers 2015](https://www.pamferderbar.com/best-gifts-for-writers-2015/) - Do you have a writer in your life who deserves a great gift? Here’s a list of goodies every wordsmith would love to have. Books! (and gift certificates for books) No one loves a good book more than a writer. Well chosen words on a page not only transport us emotionally, writers appreciate the author’s - [The Writer's Life for Me](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-writers-life-for-me/) - A lot of people want to be writers, or they think they want to be writers. People seem to imagine that we’re all making bank like J.K. Rowling, and lounging around a 2500sf white and ecru Hamptons bedroom/sitting room/writing space in slinky silk loungewear sporting perfect ponytails and Robert Yurman “casual” jewelry. We earn 10% of - [Black Friday Magic](https://www.pamferderbar.com/black-friday-magic/) - When I was a kid, on the day after Thanksgiving my mom and dad would take me to Chicago to see the Christmas lights and decorations on Michigan Avenue. I felt like a grown up in the bustling big city, bumping into ladies in high-heeled boots and fur coats, and men carrying stacks of big - [Cyber Charlotte Monday! Pre-release paperback only $9.95!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/cyber-charlotte-monday-pre-release-paperback-only-9-95/) - Give the gift of laughter this year. On Monday, November 30th from 8A to 8P, only at HenschelHAUS.com, get the pre-release paperback for $9.95. On Tuesday, December 1st at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and fine bookstores everywhere, Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale will be released in paperback for $16.95. - [10 Everyday Writing Tips](https://www.pamferderbar.com/10-everyday-writing-tips/) - While the earth was still magma, and I was in journalism school, there were certain rules by which we lived, and much of that priceless info came from a bible of sorts—the Associated Press Stylebook. (Cue the seraphim!) This essential tome includes everything you need to know about grammar, punctuation, syntax, and life! (Nowhere does it say - [Ferderbar's Debut Novel takes USA Book Award](https://www.pamferderbar.com/ferderbars-debut-novel-takes-usa-book-award/) - RESULTS ANNOUNCED! 2015 USA BEST BOOK AWARDS Pam Ferderbar's debut novel Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale is an Award-Winning Finalist in the Fiction/Chick Lit/Women's Lit category of the 2015 USA Best Book Awards. "Thank you to the thousands of authors and publishers who have made the 12th Annual USA Best Book Awards a resounding success! Congratulations - [Pam's review of Patti Smith's M Train](https://www.pamferderbar.com/pams-review-of-patti-smiths-m-train/) - M Train by Patti Smith My rating: 4 of 5 stars I loved Just Kids beyond measure. If there was a word stronger than love, I would use it to describe my feelings for the that book, so my expectations for M Train may have been a tad unrealistic.Written in a far more "stream of - [Listen to "Wisconsin Tough" on Public Radio](https://www.pamferderbar.com/pams-essay-wisconsin-tough-to-air-on-wpr-wptv/) - "WISCONSIN TOUGH" by Pam Ferderbar Hear it here: http://www.wisconsinlife.org/story/wisconsin-childhood-makes-us-tough Begins airing Friday, November 6th: Schedule "Wisconsin Life" celebrates what makes Wisconsin unique through the diverse stories of its people. Our award-winning producers travel the state in search of stories that sometimes are humorous and surprising, and other times are emotional and thought provoking. All of the - [Uses for A Funny Book](https://www.pamferderbar.com/uses-for-a-funny-book/) - #1. Can be slid beneath something uneven, like a table leg that is an inch or so short, or my Uncle Ray, who due to his imagination believes one leg to be substantially shorter than the other. He has had the heels of his left shoes built up by a solid inch and a half, - [Scary Things](https://www.pamferderbar.com/scary-things/) - The phrase ‘water seeping under the foundation.’ Thank you, Marjy Brzeskiewicz, for terrifying me with that one. Children with big eyes. Not babies—they all have giant eyes and pretty much look like a cross between monkeys and a weepy senorita in a velvet painting. Spooky is any kid over the age of three who has - [Public Speaking: The Horror!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/public-speaking-the-horror/) - According to a Chapman University survey on American fears, our top phobias are public speaking, heights, and bugs. (Fear of clowns rolled in fourth on the Chapman list, but is #1 on my personal scared-sh*tless-o-meter.) Most people panic the instant they realize they must, at some later date, speak in public. Personally, I don’t freak out - [Windy City Raves About Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale](https://www.pamferderbar.com/windy-city-raves-about-feng-shui-charlotte-nightingale/) - Book Review: FENG SHUI AND CHARLOTTE NIGHTINGALE Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 11:05AM F Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale. Pam Ferderbar. Three Towers Press (an imprint of HenschelHAUS Publishing), Milwaukee, WI, June 21, 2015, Hardcover and Kindle, 240 pages. Reviewed by Starza Thompson. It’s very rare to find a book that is so imaginative that visualizing the - [The Cure for Writer's Block](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-cure-for-writers-block/) - Writer's block. The condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing. I have a deadline. The words will not come. The muse has left the building. What’s the first thing I do to deal with the situation? I google writer’s block, of course. (Ina Garten's succulent - [Blessed Are The Risk Takers](https://www.pamferderbar.com/blessed-are-the-risk-takers/) - What could go wrong? —the four words most responsible for inertia, stagnation, and old age in people who are not chronologically old. Sure, I don’t look at a perfectly slanted roofline overlooking a swimming pool and automatically calculate my trajectory into the deep end like I used to (for one thing I don’t see as - [4 Questions Writers Get Asked...A Lot](https://www.pamferderbar.com/4-questions-writers-get-asked/) - 1. Are you sleeping? Firstly, we are not sleeping. We are “working,” which means although our eyes are closed and we are possibly drooling, we are hard at work, mentally stringing together words in what will ultimately emerge as a perfectly crafted sandwich, I mean sentence. A sentence sandwich, if you will. Secondly, although technically - [EVENT: October 28, 2015 7PM Wauwatosa Public Library](https://www.pamferderbar.com/wauwatosa-public-library/) - October 28, 2015 7PM Please join us at the Wauwatosa Public Library for an evening with Pam Ferderbar and Charlotte Nightingale. Author talk, Q&A. Wauwatosa Public Library 7635 W North Ave, Wauwatosa, WI 53213 (414) 471-8485 - [Huffington Post adds blogger Pam Ferderbar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/huffington-post-adds-blogger-pam-ferderbar/) - As of September 23, 2015 you can find Pam Ferderbar's hilarious blog at HuffPo! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pam-ferderbar/ - [Are You Shkrelying Me?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/are-you-shkrelying-me/) - An eponym is a person, a place, or thing for whom or for which something is named, or believed to be named. Example; theologian John DUNS Scotus, mocked and thought by many to be a nincompoop. Today, a nincompoop is a dunce. In the mid 1800s, Amelia Jenks Bloomer, a suffragette and temperance advocate, donned the original form of granny - [The beauty of the late bloomer](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-beauty-of-the-late-bloomer/) - Thought you’d be a bazillionaire by 30? Have 19 kids and counting, and a 10,000sf Cape Cod in the Hamptons prior to hitting the big 4-0? Discovered a cure for cellulite before lunch? Our culture has made it easy for us to focus on the stuff we haven’t accomplished rather than all the things for - [Midwest Book Review: "a deftly crafted novel..."](https://www.pamferderbar.com/midwest-book-review-a-deftly-crafted-novel/) - July 2015 Edition "A deftly crafted novel of wit and whimsy, with memorable characters caught up in a story of unexpected twists and turns, "Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale" by Pam Ferderbar is an enormously entertaining read from beginning to end. Certain to be an enduring popular addition to community library General Fiction collections." - [The Night Mick Jagger Fell for Me](https://www.pamferderbar.com/678/) - Good luck. Some people have all the luck. If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all. Luck. Is there such a thing? If we believe ourselves to be lucky, or unlucky, do we unwittingly stack the deck? This question makes me think of the times I felt certain something wonderful was - [EVENT: September 29, 2015 Oconomowoc Golf Club Book Club](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-september-29-2015-oconomowoc-golf-club-book-club/) - September 29, 2015 3PM The first ever Oconomowoc Golf Club Book Club Gathering! Join us for an author talk, Q&A, light refreshments and fun. Oconomowoc Golf Club W360 N5261 Brown St Oconomowoc, WI (262) 567-2302 Open to members, their guests and invitees. - [EVENT: September 16, 7pm at The Book Cellar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-september-16-7pm-at-the-book-cellar/) - September 16, 7PM Local Author Night The Book Cellar 4736-38 No. Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL 60625 (773) 293-2665 Thanks Suzy, Kyle and all the incredible staff at the Book Cellar for a great turn out! Thanks also to authors Tim Lees (Devil in the Wires) and Sandra Colbert (Chicago Bound) for sharing your considerable talents and - [Chicklit Club Guest Post](https://www.pamferderbar.com/chicklit-club-guest-post/) - September 11, 2015 NONE OF YOUR FUNNY BUSINESS, a guest post by Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale author Pam Ferderbar Pam Ferderbar writes about confidence and what it takes to laugh out loud. My publisher recently sent me to a regional Romance Writers of America convention although my genre, contemporary fiction/humor/chicklit, is not romance. Assured - [Good Touch/Bad Touch Not for Every Child, Scientists Now Say](https://www.pamferderbar.com/good-touchbad-touch-not-for-every-child-scientists-now-say/) - Oh all right, I am not technically a scientist, but the following story could totally be a sciency study in support of my hypothesis that it is a waste of time to teach some children “good touch/bad touch”—an exercise that illustrates the difference between being pat on the head for doing a trick well—good touch, - [6 Reasons to Celebrate Failure](https://www.pamferderbar.com/6-reasons-to-celebrate-failure-2/) - 1. It could always be worse. It’s a simple *clarificatory comparison. If you are familiar with the entity y (a wide range of your own personal failures, say), then we introduce x (any minute instance of a failure not occurring), by comparison with y, we generate a greater appreciation of x. *Also known as the - [The Roanoke Times Book Review](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-roanoke-times-book-review/) - Three Towers Press. 240 pages. $24.95. Posted: Sunday, August 30, 2015 12:00 am Reviewed by Anne Shaver | Anne Shaver is a communications consultant in Roanoke. A LITTLE FENG SHUI DOES A WORLD OF GOOD Charlotte Nightingale is having a bad day. In fact, Charlotte Nightingale is - [How to Survive in L.A.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/how-to-survive-in-l-a/) - WITHOUT BEING MURDERED, SWINDLED OR EXPOSED TO MANPOOP A dear reader/sisterwoman/photographer extraordinaire, Simone Van Kempen, suggested that I write about what I might do differently if I were 25 years old and moving to Los Angeles for the first time…now. I can’t imagine Simi suggesting there had been mistakes the first time around, but my - [JUMP!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/jump/) - It is my belief that living a fulfilling and rewarding life is all about the risks we take, not the times we played it safe and maybe avoided some sort of trouble, heartache, or a prison sentence. Imagine how colorless and tame the world would be if artists didn’t take chances. Painters, poets, and photographers - [Why Bad Boys (and Girls) Are So Good.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/why-bad-boys-and-girls-are-so-good/) - As part of a nongovernment-sanctioned census, I’d like a head count from those of you who have never dated a bad boy or bad girl. I’m waiting. Anyone? It seems we all have a Black Widow, Billy the Kid, or Patrick the Snake in our past. How can this possibly be good, you ask? Hands - [5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED THE SCIENTIFIC WAY](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-things-i-learned-the-scientific-way/) - 1. Italian men just go for it. Optimistic grandpas and underage virgins. Wealthy playboys, Tuscan tour bus drivers, aristocrats and gypsies are all willing to take a chance on love, usually by grabbing a handful of ass, and smacking their lips at you like spastic trout. Whereas an American accountant who lives with his mother - [5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-things-ive-learned-the-hard-way/) - SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO 1. No is a complete sentence. Just say no. Can you drive Aunt Myrtle to the airport Wednesday afternoon? “No, I can’t.” Period. Once you start to explain why you cant, you’re doomed because you have opened the door to negotiation. Let’s practice. Them: “I know it’s late notice, but will you please bake - [How to Eat Chocolate and Get Thinner Thighs (my next book!)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-genesis-of-feng-shui-and-charlotte-nightingale-or-how-the-whole-thing-started/) - Leo Carillo Beach, Malibu, CA March 10, 2008 (This is, in fact, where all the writers in Los Angeles "work." People ask me where the idea for Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale came from. Here's the skinny: it was originally written as a short story/novella - 42 pages. I was at the lowest point in my life - [I'm Still Laughing, guest blog by Simone van Kempen](https://www.pamferderbar.com/im-still-laughing-guest-blog-by-simone-van-kempen/) - Note from Pam: When Charlotte Nightingale was published there was no one happier than my Swiss "sister" Simone, who since I met her 20 years ago has been there for me in so many ways. We have seen each other through much joy and great sorrow, and we've even worked together on some photo projects. Simone - ['cause these are the good old days](https://www.pamferderbar.com/cause-these-are-the-good-old-days/) - “Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.” ― A.A. Milne, - [EVENT: July 18 time TBD At Luck Public Library](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-july-18-time-tbd-at-luck-public-library/) - July 18, time TBD Author reading, reading and signing Luck Public Library 301 South Main Street, Luck, WI 54853 (715) 472-2770 - [5 Star Review from Book Splurge!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/5-star-review-from-book-splurge/) - Feng Shui Charlotte Nightingale by Pam Ferderbar July 7, 2015 by booksplurge Leave a Comment I received this book for free from in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. Feng Shui Charlotte Nightingale by Pam FerderbarFeng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale by - [The Dr. Briar Lee Mitchell Show (radio)](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-dr-briar-lee-mitchell-show-radio/) - June 30, 2015 A one hour radio interview with Dr. Briar Lee Mitchell. Click to play. - [EVENT: June 30, 9PM - Radio Appearance - Dr. Briar Lee Mitchell Show](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-june-24-4-6pm-at-the-black-sheep-wine-bar-2/) - June 30, 9PM (10 EST) Dr. Briar Lee Mitchell Show Artist First Radio Network Radio appearance Thank you, Briar! This was so much fun! - [EVENT: June 25, 5:30PM at Westwood Health & Fitness](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-june-25-530pm-at-westwood-health-fitness/) - June 25, 5:30-6:30PM Thank you Westwood for a great event! People working out their bodies AND their brains! Yay - [EVENT: June 24, 5:30-7:30PM at the Black Sheep Wine Bar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-june-24-4-6pm-at-the-black-sheep-wine-bar/) - Thank you everyone who came out to Black Sheep on Wednesday! I had a blast! June 24, 5:30-7:30PM - [EVENT: June 16, 7pm at the Boswell Book Company](https://www.pamferderbar.com/book-signing-and-reading-at-boswell-book-company/) - THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR A GREAT, FUN, WONDERFUL EVENT!!! June 16, 7PM - [Chick Lit Central features Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale](https://www.pamferderbar.com/chick-lit-central-features-feng-shui-charlotte-nightingale/) - July 6, 2015 Chick Lit Central will feature Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale on its prestigious bookshelf through July 19. - [A Spoonful of Happy Endings Blog Tour Post](https://www.pamferderbar.com/a-spoonful-of-happy-endings-blog-tour-post/) - Blog Tour: 'Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale' by Pam Ferderbar (2015) I'm excited to be part of another blog tour today, this time for author Pam Ferderbar's debut novel 'Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale', which was released on the 19th of June. Next to this blog I am also part of the review team over - [A Spoonful of Happy Endings Blog Tour Post](https://www.pamferderbar.com/a-spoonful-of-happy-endings-blog-tour-post/) - Blog Tour: 'Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale' by Pam Ferderbar (2015) I'm excited to be part of another blog tour today, this time for author Pam Ferderbar's debut novel 'Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale', which was released on the 19th of June. Next to this blog I am also part of the review team over - [Happy Birthday, America!](https://www.pamferderbar.com/happy-birthday-america/) - "Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have." ~Harry Emerson Fosdick I love that quote, and in honor of our nation’s independence I’m going to do the all-American 4th of July thang…and take the liberty of drinking margaritas! (Donald Trump can just suck my lime on this one.) Here’s the best - [The Indie View interview](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-indie-view-interview/) - Indieview with Pam Ferderbar, author of Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale Posted on June 28, 2015 by admin | Leave a comment I just love Charlotte. Even when she’s not feeling good about herself, there is something charming and strong under the surface. She’s the kind of person I’d have as a friend Pam Ferderbar – 28 June 2015 - [My Own Little Corner guest post](https://www.pamferderbar.com/my-own-little-corner-guest-post/) - My Own Little Corner 6/24/15 Guest Post~ Pam Ferderbar Earlier this week I shared information about Pam Ferderbar's book, Feng Shui and Charlotte Nighingale. Today I am sharing a guest post she wrote for us. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to read for her, but if her charming and witty emails are any indication of her writing style, then I - [A Literary Vacation Blog by Colleen Turner](https://www.pamferderbar.com/a-literary-vacation-interview-with-pam/) - A Literary Vacation Thursday, June 25, 2015 Q & A with Pamela Ferderbar, Author of Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale I'm so happy to welcome Pam Ferderbar, witty author of Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale, to A Literary Vacation today! She's stopped by to tell us a little about herself and her book. So enjoy - [BIG AL'S BOOKS & PALS BLOG](https://www.pamferderbar.com/pams-guest-post-on-big-als-books-pals/) - Friday, June 26, 2015 Big Al's Books and Pals Guest Post from Pam Ferderbar, author of Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale I come by my ability to laugh at bad luck honestly. Not from my mom or pops, but my Aunt Marti—my mom’s younger sister. She can’t get through the story of my mom being - ["GEEK MEETS CHIC…"](https://www.pamferderbar.com/blog-tour-kicks-off-with-love-life-book-lust/) - June 21, 2015 My Review ( 4 stars ) – First off let me tell you how much I adore this cover. It’s like the perfect mixture of geek meets chic. I Simply adore it! Now on to Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale… Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale is down-right hilarious and dazzling to boot! - [Writer's Corner, Jencey Gortney's fab blog, features my review of Seven Letters from Paris](https://www.pamferderbar.com/writers-corner-jencey-gortneys-fab-blog-features-my-review-of-seven-letters-from-paris/) - Writer's Corner Wednesday, June 24, 2015 A review of SEVEN LETTERS FROM PARIS by Pam Ferderbar Firstly, I have to say that I know Samantha Verant. Her parents and I go way back. I knew her when she was married before, I knew her when she was divorced, and I am getting to know her now, - [An interview with Charlotte Nightingale presented by Girl Who Reads](https://www.pamferderbar.com/an-interview-with-charlotte-nightingale-presented-by-girl-who-reads/) - Girl Who Reads Friday, June 26, 2015 Pam Ferderbar: Interview with Character Charlotte Nightingale (@Charlotte_Pam) PF Charlotte, hi. It’s nice to see you again, and thanks for sitting down with me. Those are nice shoes, by the way. Jimmy Choo? CN What is it with people and shoes? I don’t know what my shoes are, - [What if you could change your luck?](https://www.pamferderbar.com/what-if-you-could-change-your-luck/) - June 25, 9AM Pam Ferderbar guest appearance on the Morning Blend, WTMJ 4, with Tiffany Ogle and Molly Fay. - [EVENT: June 25, 9am on the Morning Blend TV Show](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-june-25-9am-on-the-morning-blend-tv-show/) - June 25, 9am Morning Blend TV Show WTMJ-4 Milwaukee Classic #CHARLOTTE MOMENT when they cut away from my interview for an announcement on the Affordable Care Act! OMG! But they replayed the interview in its entirety, thank goodness! Watch here. TV Appearance - [That Time I Moved to L.A.](https://www.pamferderbar.com/that-time-i-moved-to-l-a/) - Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale was born in Los Angeles. Pam Ferderbar lived in L.A. when she conceived Charlotte Nightingale. Hilarity & good luck ensued. - [LUCK HAPPENS: THE LAUNCH OF FENG SHUI & CHARLOTTE NIGHTINGALE - a guest blog by Samantha Verant, author of Seven Letters from Paris](https://www.pamferderbar.com/luck-happens-the-launch-of-feng-shui-charlotte-nightingale-a-guest-blog-by-samantha-verant-author-of-seven-letters-from-paris/) - Seven Letters from Paris author Samantha Verant blogs about her favorite new book Feng Shui + Charlotte Nightingale by Pam Ferderbar. Hilarious! - [The Book Cover Reveal](https://www.pamferderbar.com/the-book-cover-reveal/) - An HGTV show called Red, Hot and Green remodeled my bathroom when I lived in L.A. The big “reveal” was exciting and horrifying all at the same time. What if it was ugly? What if I didn’t like it? How would I mask my disappointment in front of the cameras, and more importantly, in front - [EVENT: July 21, 7PM at Books & Company](https://www.pamferderbar.com/event-july-21-7pm-at-books-company/) - July 21, 7PM Books & Company 1039 Summit Avenue Oconomowoc, WI 53066 (262) 567-0106 Reading, book signing, lively Q&A, prizes including signed books, Feng Shui swag, one person will be chosen at random and Pam will attend that person's book club - [Bad Luck Feng Shui](https://www.pamferderbar.com/bad-luck-feng-shui/) - Pamela Ferderbar’s charming novel about romance and karma ShepherdExpress.com By Jenni Herrick June 9, 2015 Charlotte Nightingale, the central character in Pamela Ferderbar’s charming debut novel Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale, has serious shar chi (“poison luck”) in the realm of feng shui. From her dead-end job as a cashier at a shady auto - [Lake Country Now/Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Interview with Pam Ferderbar](https://www.pamferderbar.com/lake-country-nowmilwaukee-journal-sentinel-interview-with-pam-ferderbar/) - Delafield author's feng shui novel brings her good luck By Donna Frake March 19, 2015 Lake Country Now Perhaps Pam Ferderbar knows a thing or two about feng shui, or at least about good fortune. Ferderbar moved to Delafield at age 12 with her parents, Tom and Helen Ferderbar, where she grew up working ## Pages - [Home](https://www.pamferderbar.com/) - Apartment #4. Clutter. Dead Plants. A Mirror Facing The Bed. Plumbing On The Fritz. What Could Go Wrong?For Charlotte Nightingale the question is will anything ever go right? Stuck in a rut, constantly repeating the mistakes that knock her down, what will it take to turn Charlotte’s life, and luck, around? Enter Kwan, a mysterious - [Bio](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-pam/bio/) - Pam Ferderbar was born and raised in Wisconsin, the only child of two loving but quirky parents who fostered her creativity by setting a place at the table for Pam’s imaginary friend, Dokka. After graduating Marquette University with a B.S. in Journalism, Pam worked at Ferderbar Studios, the family advertising photography business where she honed - [Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-the-book/) - Buy the Book - [Contact](https://www.pamferderbar.com/contact/) - Email: Pam@pamferderbar.com Send a Note I would love to hear from you! CommentsThis field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.Name* First Last PhoneEmail* Subscribe Yes (subscribe to Pam's Blog) MessageCAPTCHA - [Contest Winners](https://www.pamferderbar.com/contest/) - The winner of this month's #CharlotteMoment is Liz Phillips, who shared this moment with me: "Had a Charlotte moment two nights ago when I decided it was high time I allowed myself an evening with a book and a glass of wine. Reaching for something, I hooked a finger in the rim of the glass - [Press Room](https://www.pamferderbar.com/news-events/press-room/) - Press Downloads About the Book (pdf, ms word) Author Bio (pdf, ms word) Chapter 1 (pdf, ms word) Q&A (pdf, ms word) Press Release #1 (pdf, ms word) Press Release #2 (pdf, ms word) Press Release #3 Nov 13, 2015 (pdf, ms word) Blurbs (pdf, ms word) Photos (click for hi-res versions) - [Shared Moments](https://www.pamferderbar.com/shared-monents/) - The Charlotte moment. We’ve all had them, and if you’re alive and reading this, you’ve survived your fair share. A Charlotte moment is that embarrassing, idiotic, oh-no-she-di-int mishap that makes you call your mom, bestie or sister and say, “You won’t believe the thing that just happened to me.” Well, now the thing has a - [Newsletter](https://www.pamferderbar.com/newsletter/) - Pam Ferderbar was born and raised in Wisconsin, the only child of two loving but quirky parents who fostered her creativity by setting a place at the table for Pam’s imaginary friend and cooking “Dokka” his own food. After graduating Marquette University with a B.S. in Journalism, Pam worked at Ferderbar Studios, the family advertising - [Synopsis](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-the-book/synopsis/) - Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale is an uplifting and hilarious fable about empowerment and perception, and the magical things that happen when we begin to see the glass as half full. Charlotte Nightingale has the worst luck in the world. Her cluttered apartment is the poster child for shar chi—poison luck in the realm of - [Chapter 1](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-the-book/chapter-1/) - Charlotte Nightingale was plain like oatmeal is plain. Not crunchy and wearing Birkenstocks like granola, nor as delicate as a good piece of whitefish. Joseph Lozzi, who at his insistence went as “Frank,” might have (with a bit of class and two nickels to rub together) passed for a young Sinatra. However, on most days, - [Blurbs](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-the-book/blurbs/) - Pamela Ferderbar is a witty and wonderful writer, and her book is a great reminder of the magic all around us. A delightful and enlightening read for anyone who's ever wondered, "why me?" Read it and get your chi flowing. - Cindy Guidry, author of The Last Single Woman in America What a laugh - [Blog](https://www.pamferderbar.com/blog/) - [About Pam](https://www.pamferderbar.com/about-pam/) - [Charlotte Army](https://www.pamferderbar.com/charlotte-army/) - Hello lovely readers! Have you read Feng Shui and Charlotte Nightingale and you’re just itching to tell people about it? Welcome to the CHARLOTTE ARMY STREET TEAM! As a member of the CHARLOTTE ARMY you’ll earn my undying gratitude and great prizes: A chance to win SIGNED BOOKS and Feng Shui SWAG in a monthly special drawing for Charlotte Army - [Test Feed](https://www.pamferderbar.com/test-feed/) - Test juicer feed with one row and 5 images... ## Categories - [Blog](https://www.pamferderbar.com/category/blog/) - [News & Events](https://www.pamferderbar.com/category/news-events/) - [News](https://www.pamferderbar.com/category/news/) - [Events](https://www.pamferderbar.com/category/events/) ## Tags - [Pam Ferderbar blog](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/pam-ferderbar-blog/) - [humor blog](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/humor-blog/) - [5 things learned the scientific way](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/5-things-learned-the-scientific-way/) - [scary stuff](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/scary-stuff/) - [BEK](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/bek/) - [black eyes kids](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/black-eyes-kids/) - [Halloween](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/halloween/) - [raccoon on the roof](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/raccoon-on-the-roof/) - [Manson Family](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/manson-family/) - [Louisville Slugger](https://www.pamferderbar.com/tag/louisville-slugger/)